The biggest disappointment, for me, always involves my children. If it happens to me, personally, I am able to deal with the situation at hand more easily and set aside my differences. But, that's not the particular item that I'm struggling with. I have been tossing around the way I react to disappointment. I find that I react quickly and do not take a breath before my emotions get a hold of me and literally leave my easy going spirit in the dust. Almost always it is sport related. I am competitive. I am immersed in sports. I am very passionate about both. This can be a bad combination and the outbursts of emotion have reared its ugly little head on more than one occasion. Typically, I'm a quiet person, especially in public or in large groups of people. But, when I get mad or am denied a particular desire while in the heat of the moment, I just snap. I don't care who is there, where I am, or how loud or ridiculous I sound. It's like another person takes over. I'm no longer cognitively in control over what my lips spew and to who. It's quite like an out of body experience. One way I deal with adversity is to write it out, kinda like what I'm doing right now. This does seem to ease the tension quite a bit, but there are many times when the tapping of a keyboard or pen and paper are not readily available to allow the steam escape my molten anger from inside. I am consciously making an effort to take deep breaths and not let things rattle me. It's a tall order for me, but I believe worth the effort. How do you deal with disappointment?
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
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3 comments:
I am not sure that I deal with disappointment well. I don't seem to take no for an answer and will work for a long amount of time trying to figure out a way to make something happen. Thus, 20 years in a marriage that was not working. I don't think I handle it well. Not well at all.
If it is a friend canceling plans, I try to readjust - although truthfully it brings back bad feelings of never being able to count on anything.
I am not very competitive of sports oriented, so this is a bit foreign to me.
Best wishes - I think once you learn something about yourself - the next step is figuring out how to correct it.
Thanks Julie! You also bring up another point. I too have a difficult time when a friend cancels. It actually doesn't bother me if there is a valid reason, but if they're just lying about why or it becomes habitual I don't deal well with that at all. As a matter of fact I sorta shut down and withdraw. What really ticks me off is when they don't call at all. Don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect and it's not like I've never canceled before, but I do make a conscious effort to be reliable and courteous.
Thanks Julie! You also bring up another point. I too have a difficult time when a friend cancels. It actually doesn't bother me if there is a valid reason, but if they're just lying about why or it becomes habitual I don't deal well with that at all. As a matter of fact I sorta shut down and withdraw. What really ticks me off is when they don't call at all. Don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect and it's not like I've never canceled before, but I do make a conscious effort to be reliable and courteous.
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